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Empty Arms' Support Groups for Grieving Parents
Empty Arms is holds all of our support groups virtually using the Zoom platform. Although technically any person from any geographical location could join a Zoom meeting, our underlying goal is still to create a real, living community of bereaved parents here in Massachusetts. Our meetings are small, intimate, and comprised of the very real families we have served in our Valley Hospitals, who have been referred to us by our trusted clinicians and practitioners, or who have found us on their healing journey. The dates and times of our meetings are listed on the calendar, or you could visit our events page. Please note that our TFMR groups are the only groups we offer that are open to people outside of Massachusetts. If you’re coming to us from another state and you didn’t have a TFMR, this link will take you to some other options closer to home.
Visit our calendar for support group dates/times/descriptions. If you are interested in joining a support group, please contact us here.
We offer the following monthly support groups. Click through for individual descriptions, or scroll below to read about our general philosophy and have your questions (hopefully) answered.
Expecting your Next Baby Support Group (prev. Subsequent Choices)
Twin Loss Support Group (while parenting a surviving twin)
Empty Arms Support Groups
Regardless of where they draw their support, people who are involved with our organization are confirmed in the value of what they have lost and are given the freedom to grieve and heal at their own pace, using their own strength of character as well as the bonds of friendship as their tools.
Most of our groups are held in Florence, MA, near Northampton. We serve individuals and families from Connecticut to Vermont, and Northampton is halfway up the valley and on I-91. If you’d like to come to a Florence meeting and need help getting there, please let us know. We often arrange car pools or can sometimes even come and pick you up.
Because we serve so many families in the southern valley, we have a meeting that is located in a Baystate office building in Springfield, as well. To reflect the population we serve in Springfield, this meeting is facilitated with bilingual facilitators and is conducted in the primary language of the participants.
We also have a satellite group that meets in Berkshire County that is open to anyone who has experienced a loss at any gestation or age.
Frequently Asked Questions About Our Support Groups
Q: Do I need to RSVP?
A: Our support groups are always free, and you are welcome to drop-in to the group that best aligns to you. That being said, do check the calendar and make sure the group is on the night you think it is! Prior to attending a support group, please email us so we can collect your information and set you up with the right support group.
Some exceptions include Dad’s Bereavement Support Group, which is a closed group. Subsequent Choices Support Group is aimed for folks who have been to another EABS Support Group before. Please send Carol an email if you are interested in joining the next cohort of Dad’s Bereavement Support Group or Subsequent Choices Support Group.
TFMR Support Group is reserved for folks who have experienced a Termination for Medical Reasons.
POC Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group is free and open to non-white families who have experienced pregnancy loss.
We know how easy it is to change your mind at the last minute and come to a group you thought you couldn't (or didn't want to) make it to. That being said, if you do know for sure that you're coming, please do feel free to drop the facilitator a note so we can welcome you personally .
Our In Person Springfield support group serves dinner and therefore asks that you email or text in your intent to attend so we can plan dinner accordingly. (This group is not currently meeting)
Q: I'm too nervous just to show up to a meeting! Is that … strange?
A: No, you're certainly in good company. We know how incredibly difficult it can be to seek the help we need at such a sad, vulnerable time. To make showing up easier, we welcome emails or phone calls before you attend a meeting to talk about what to expect, which might make coming to that first meeting a little less intimidating. Know that you can always turn your screen off to take a quick break, and that you are NOT the first person to feel this way!
Q: I can't talk about my experience without crying. Will I be the only one?
A: Not at all. We know that no matter how far out you are from your loss, talking about your experience can bring up strong emotions. And all emotions are welcome at our meetings. (We bring lots of tissues to in-person meetings and encourage you to have some on stand-by) If you feel too overwhelmed to speak, you are always welcome to just listen to others until you are ready to share.
Q: Can I come alone? Do I have to bring my partner?
A: You're welcome to come with anyone you choose, or no one at all. If you're anxious about whether to bring someone or not, give us a call and we can give you a general sense of the current make up of our group. It's sometimes so much easier to make a decision when you have more information.
To preserve the quietude of our space, we ask that children stay off screen and that you mute yourself if the noises of children or babies in your household are audible.
Q: I want my partner to come, but I don't know if they will want to speak. Is that OK?
A: Absolutely. Participation in the discussion is always optional. We know that even when participants don't contribute to the conversation, they still may be receiving the support they need. If your partner is hesitant, maybe encourage them to sit in the room while you Zoom and just listen in. While we would ask that you acknowledge that there’s another person off-screen, this way a partner could listen in without being seen or heard. It’s a low-risk way to see what a meeting is like.
Q: Are these support groups a form of therapy?
A: As supportive as participants tell us these meetings are, our bereavement support groups are not therapy, and should not necessarily be used in place of therapy. We use the MotherWoman model of facilitation for our support groups: This creates an advice-free, judgement-free space in which you can share whatever experiences and emotions are true for you following your loss.
We do maintain a list of therapists and other health providers, though it would be irresponsible for us not to add that it’s often very difficult to get an appointment. It’s the sad reality of a very inefficient mental health care system.
Q: My family and friends don't know about my loss…
A: Strict confidentiality is expected from all group members. Included in our guidelines is a rule of confidentiality that asks that even if group members see one another outside of group, it's not appropriate to reference anything shared in group unless both parties agree. Your personal contact information will only be shared with other group members if you specifically elect to have it shared.
Q: My pregnancy ended with a medical termination. Can Empty Arms help me?
A: Yes. As with every family who experiences loss, we'll work with you to find support that works best for your unique situation. In the past we've supported many families who have been forced to make the same terrible decision you have- check out our Termination for Medical Reasons Support Group.
Q: Do you provide childcare or transportation assistance for your in person support group meetings?
A: All of our support groups are currently virtual. If you need assistance with childcare or transportation, please contact us. We will try our best to help you to be able to come to a meeting and find the support you need. Our Zoom meetings provide flexible options for folks wanting to attend meetings with older children, and we do ask that if your child is in the room, you please mute and turn off your camera to keep the space safe and serene for others.
Learn more about our support groups (click name of group)
